Monday, January 23, 2006

A little sad. Is that ok?

Here is a quick but serious one. I am a little sad tonight. Its tough, but I can't desice if I am nuts or if I am normal. I have been packing the car and cleaning up my place in this house. I find myself walking around here and pouting a bit.

The fact is. I'm sad about leaving. Its odd, considering I have recently decided that I would be very happy if I didn't live in Charleston anymore. I always thought I'd come back and live here eventually. But I now know that its ok if I don't.

So its funny that I find myself sad for leaving. But I think its because I know that I'm comfortable with not living here that makes me sad. Does that make sense?

It's like I am really leaving now. I'm really moving away. For real.

And my question is, is that ok? I know it is, but I still feel silly. I feel kind of dumb. Stephanie says one of my problems is that I am afraid to let myself feel the way I naturally feel.

So here it is. I'm leaving Charleston tomorrow and it could be for good. And while I am glad that I am good with this possibility, I am sad that I am leaving.

Off to the future now.

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