I woke up this morning and decided one thing. I'm going to be in control of myself. That may seem a little over the top. After all, its not like I grope people in public or cuss and spit in church or anything. However, I do have some problems with letting my brain run wild on me. I guess that comes with the territory of being a genius. LOL
Sometimes I get a little wired up. I'm in my own head. I work a job that is juuuuuusstt brain occupying enough to keep me from thinking about anything important, but not nearly complex enough to keep my brain stimulated properly. Its been like this for just about 2 years now and I think it has taken a considerable toll on my intellect.
Its hard to explain, but I sometimes feel that this job is making me stupid. And the funniest part is this. It makes me more stupid than when I pushed carts at Wal-Mart. More stupid than when I hustled burgers at McDonalds or Fries and Sodas at the In-N-Out Burger. mmmmmmm In-N-Out Burger. When I worked Fast Food I was normally too busy working to think about anything other than what I was doing. Chop Chop, quick quick you know? When I worked the carts at Wal-Mart, it was easy breazy. Just me and my thoughts and generally pleasant phyisical outside sunshine work. I kept a notebook in my pocket and wrote down ideas all the time.
This job though leaves me stuck in brain limbo though. By the end of the day, I find that my brain has been racing all day trying to shoehorn in thoughts and ideas into every available free moment. And its all easy, low-brow, crap too. Mostly consisting of Barry Bonds and various other sports topics. Sometimes its more heady stuff like how to build high-density neighborhoods that are still family friendly. While there will certainly be a time and place for this line of thought, its not exactly helpful or productive given my current goals and objectives. Anyway, by the end of the day, I'm exhausted. All I want to do is vege out in front of re-runs. I used to think that it was the job that wore me out, but its not.
So what to do about it? Control myself....and remain calm. Another by-product of this behavior is that I tend to panic in easy situations. So I got up, I sat on the couch and I calmly collected my thoughts. I made sandwiches, I got dressed I went to work. I spent the majority of my day just listening to my Ipod and staying conscious. Staying in reality and out of my crazy world of racing thoughts.
Breath in Breath out. Remain Calm.
Reggie Bush wants to wear number 5 in the NFL (not allowed for Running Backs by rule)
...nope. Not interested. Relax, clear your mind.
Barry Bonds is just one Homerun from tying Ruth
well, its not really tying since he.........Shhht. Quiet your mind Tom and you'll hear the midi-chlorians talking to you.
And so it went most of the day. Know what? Surprisingly easy. Even easy to avoid the pitfalls of entering conversations with my co-workers about Paris Hilton and Jager Bombs.
After doing....whatver I'll name this new discipline....all day, I came home and went to the Gym. I burned 500 calories and felt pretty darned good. I read some of a filmmaking book, I read some filmmaking articles and actually felt like blogging. I feel rested, mentally rested. And it feels great!
Day 1: A success. Lets see how this works out the rest of the week. Til Then....
answers will come when you are at peace, placid.
-T
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