So Long 2005

I began this year in Salt Lake City Utah. I end it in Charleston South Carolina. I began this year with goals and plans. I end it with accomplishments and satisfaction.

Some important things happened to me this year.

1st. Stephanie.
Stephanie has been happening to me for several years now. However, at the beginning of this year I still did not know what would or could happen to us. I knew that I loved her. She had been my best friend for several years. But I wasn't sure if I ever wanted to be in a real relationship at all. Steph and I didn't bond that way. We came together with the idea that serious relationships only keep people from pursuing their dreams. It was a bad way to start a relationship.

But I came to a realization this year. The real reason that Steph and I came together is that we both believe that following our dreams is the most important thing. Additionally, our dreams are practically the same thing. I also realized that I have been in a relationship for a while now, and I DO like it. I still believe that they are bad for people early in life, but Steph and I are doing it the right way. We are making our own model for success together, and I love it. We are trailblazers.

2nd. Star Wars
2005 was the last and greatest single year for Star Wars ever. I came into last year salivating for Revenge of the Sith. There has never been another movie with this specific kind of presure on it. Since 1980, when we found out who Darth Vader really was, we knew this movie existed. It existed in concept if not actually on film. For 25 years I have been waiting to see how Anakin Skywalker became Darth Vader. If this doesn't seem important well then I don't know what to tell you. But I hoped and prayed it would be what I wanted. New toys were going to come out. New Fast Food promotions. Trailers and Commercials. And of course Tickets going on sale. And "THE LINE" How would it be this year? Which theater would I go to? How early will I have to be there? Will I be able to convince Stephanie to go? How much money will it make? How many times will I see it? Will I like it?

Guess what? It was EVERYTHING and more. The toys were great. I got almost every single one. Which I never have done in a given movie year. I got tickets a month early. I got in line on Wednesday afternoon at 3:55, and Stephanie Joined me around 6. We waited until they let us in at 10. We got good seats. The movie started, I was so nervous I wanted to throw up. I'm nuts, I know. It was fantastic. I was floored. It has been 7 months now since I saw it, and I can confidently say it is the best movie of the 6. It made 50 million dollars in a single day. 16 million at midnight shows alone. There were 3am and 6am shows in some cities. It made 380 million dollars. Stephanie went with me and she loved it too. I saw it 10 times, including once in digital at the humongous Cinerama Dome at the Arclight in Hollywood and once at a drive in. It was as satisfying a conclusion to a series of films and to a part of my life as there possibly could have been.

3. Getting my life together. This is something that I knew would probably be a two part deal. And after year one, I am where I want to be. Coming into this year, I was still a little scared. I still was unsure of what I can do. I was still unsure of what I wanted to be. Did I have the guts to go through with my plans. I talk the talk, but don't walk the walk. I tell people that I won't live a humdrum robot life that I feel most people do. Yet I am still not sure if I can fight my fears and go after it. I am still sloppy, I am still unorganized, I am still out of shape.

Today, I am more organized. I am not there yet. I am less sloppy, but improving. I am in lousy shape still, but plans are in place. I have paid off all of my debts, excluding student loans. I am out of Utah, which I felt was a bad place for us. I am working a job that has the potential to send us off on our movie making dreams. I am more confident in my abilities, I am more focused, I am more determined. The best thing is that I am paying attention. I am in gear now. With still a way to go, I am well on the road, and it feels really good.

2005 was a good year. It was a hard year, it was not always a fun year. 5 or 10 years down the road however, I think we will see that 2005 was the year it all turned around for me. I feel like this was the year I really began my new life.

When 2000 came around, I really got thinking about myself. That year I began to pull myself up. I set a goal to change my life around. To rededicate myself to being the best I can be. It took some time to get going. I was in a pretty deep hole. But 5 years later I feel like the turnaround is complete. I am truly on the right path. Right emotionally, right spritually, right professionally. I have a long way to go. But I finish this year, more confident than I have ever been in my life.

So Long 2005. Thanks for everything......Bring on 2006!

Why can't I have what I want?

Stephanie used to say this a lot to me. And she made sense. It sounds like a selfish thing to ask. But why? If I do not ask for unreasonable things, and I do not ask for anything that has not been promised me, then why can't I get what I want?

The answer: Welcome to the Real World.

What?!?

The real world? Thats what they tell me. Thats the real world. You can't have what you want. You can't do what you want. You have to grow up, be realistic, the world doesn't work that way etc.

What?!? I say again.

What do I want? Ok, I want to be treated with respect. I want people to honor their commitments. I want people to behave as though they care about what they are doing.

So maybe if I said "I want someone to knock on my door and offer me my dream job" then I can understand that it doesn't work that way. But I don't want that. I'll get my own job. I'll make my own dreams come true. But don't get in my way just because you have given up on your life.

I want you to not forget my sauce with my mcnuggets. I want you to use your damned turn signals. I want you to not be mad at me for going the speed limit just because you left the house too late. I want you to not expect me to do something that you never asked me to do. And I want to not be called selfish if I say I have other plans. I want you to not be out of the "guarenteed in stock" items. I want you to deliver on time your "guarenteed to be there by.." items. And if I ask you to do something, don't reluctantly agree and then pout and expect me to let you out of it. Just say no. And when I just say no, don't get mad at me for it.

I am sick and tired of the lack of honesty that is everywhere. Everyone is playing this strange game of "tell people what they want to hear, until you can figure a way to get out of it."

I just want to do what I want to do. I'll take care of my part, just don't get in my way by not taking care of yours.

-T

Feeling sick again.

I am now making up for my sickness from a few weeks back. The strange illness I had that had no head symptoms. It was a stomach bug, and I didn't know how to handle being sick without snot and goo and sore throats and hacking, hocking, coughing and spitting.

Now I have that. I have all of those things. But no stomach issues. Weird. I'm walking around work, because overall I feel fine. I'm not particularly tired or fatigued. I'm not weak or queezy. I'm not dizzy or nauseaus or anything at all. I feel basically fine, other than my head weighs about 42 pounds.

A side issue to this, is this. I went looking for some medicine at my parents' house. I found some Walgreen's brand cough syrup. Problem is, it expired early this year. Springtime I think. I don't know if its bad for you to take expired cough syrup. Probably not really. However, its also likely that it won't be particularly effective either. So I didn't take it, and looked for something else. I found some Wal Mart brand cough syrup. Checked the expiration date....May of 2003!!! Wait a second.

I wonder how much of a problem this is. I kind of get it. You only use medicine when you get sick. So if you don't use it all, you may not use it again for a while. Additionally, a lot of times, I'll end up buying new medicine each time I get sick. I don't know if everyone does this. A lot of times I'll start to feel it, and I won't take anything right away. Then by lunch I'll realize I need something so I'll go to the store and buy something. I suppose this happened here at my family's house. Well in the case of the 2005 expiration date maybe....2003? I don't know.

I went and bought some new stuff, so hopefully that will work. I threw the others out though.

-T

ERRRRRRR

Somedays you know that the world just doesn't function the way its supposed to. And today is one of those days..... I don't want to and can't get into it today. But trust upon trust dear reader that in the not to distant future, there will be a wonderful rant filled with bile and venom.

-T

Stephanie is Home!

Woo-Hoo Woo-Hoo Stephanie is home. Sonny is Happy, I am Happy. I got some more presents too. Star Wars Pez Collection, Star Wars Video Game and super snazzy fancy pants 4 disc Gone with the Wind set.

I'm glad your back Steph. I missed you.

-T

An extra day

Today was a great day. It was basically like a free day. Nothing really Christmas related to do, so a good day to get some work done. Most specifically, cleaning my room some more.

I spent all day in that room today. Ruthless. Thats the attitude one must have. I have so much crap, that I just don't need. Keepsake type stuff that I will never look at again. So I started chucking it out. And I did alright too.

I watched two movies while I did it. Oh Brother Where Art Thou and Snatch. I love these movies. Very funny, and good for while you are cleaning too.

Tonight, my Cousin Jennifer came over. We watched EDtv. I love that movie too. Very underappreciated. Overshadowed by The Truman Show, but it is much better.

A free day, and effective one at that.

-T

Merry Christmas to all

Its Christmas Day. A magical, and very busy, day for most people. That holds true here as well. But it is great isn't it?

This morning, it was Christmas at our house. Mom, Dad, Sonny and Me. We opened our gifts. I made out pretty well. I got 400 bucks toward a camera that Steph and I are buying. I got some memory for my computer. I got a computer bag that I don't need, but that I can exchange. And, of course, I got some underwear.

This afternoon, it was Christmas at my Granddaddy's place. All of us Andrews folks meet there and Eat....a lot. It was a great time.

All and all, a good day. I was tired and full when it was over, which is what you want.

I talked to Steph a few times, sounds like she got good stuff too. I can't wait to see her.

-T

Its Christmas Eve

One thing I have noticed. If you havent finished your shopping by about the 10th of December, just wait until Christmas Eve. I went to about 6 different stores this morning in no time at all. Very easy. Clearly the best time to go and it is an age old tradition in my family. As we tend to be procrastinators.

Tonight I had my mom's family over for Christmas. We have been doing it this way for a long time. I'm not sure when it started. It wasn't this way when I was a kid. I did Christmas at both Grandparents' houses on Christmas Day. It was nice today.

First. There was Aunt Joyce and the Macaroni Pie!! Oh my is it good. It was conspicuously missing from Thanksgiving this year, but not from Christmas.

Second, there is Aris Nicole. She is the life of the party and the center of attention. As most toddlers are, I'm sure. My cousin asked me if Aris was walking yet. Ha ha. You'll see I said. Though not quite in that jerky way.

Lastly, its a good chance to have a large group of family in one place and a lot of talking that isn't forced. And no TV. I like to see a circle of people all facing inward and talking, rather than focused on the TV. People use the TV as a crutch, to fill in the blank spots in the conversation. Its nice to see a time when that just isn't necessary.

Only one bummer tonight. No Stephanie. I hadn't given much thought to Stephanie's leaving for Boston. Of course I'd miss her, but I was glad for her to get to be with her parents. However, I really didn't expect it to feel like she was missing the way it did. I mean I wasn't overwhelmed with sadness, but I noticed she wasn't there with me and I wanted her to be. I don't want to do Christmas without her anymore.

Its proof that Christmas is what they says it is. A special time to be with those that you love most. I would think that it might be easy to not miss Steph too much, just because I am doing the exact same traditions as I always did. She was never there before, so you might think I wouldn't notice that she wasn't there now. But I did. She easily qualifies as a member of "those I love most" and I wanted her to be here. Next year will be different.

I think I hear Santa....so happy Christmas to all, and to all a good night.

-T

Holidays vs. Christmas

Im going to get into this only for just a moment. Every year, this becomes a bigger deal. Stores getting rid of the word Christmas. And every year. The News comes on and talks about the controversy. And every year they show a bunch of people who think its wrong.

You know what they never show? People who think Christmas IS offensive. You know why? Because no one thinks that.

And you know else? No one cares either. This is just another media concoction. Its another STORY. Stories are what get the ratings. News is when when someone gets murdered. The story is the two weeks after the murder when they bring it up again and again, because they know it gets better ratings than Seinfeld reruns.

This is another story. Another way to fill time and get people stirred up. Its not real. And the worst thing anyone can do, is actually discuss this as an "issue."

Just let it go and enjoy your Christmas. Don't give in to the scam. Don't get suckered in. Remeber War Games. "The only winning move is Not To Play"

-T

Alone at home.

Stephanie left today to go back to Boston for Christmas. The Son and I are struggling with it just a bit. Sonny will be sleeping in the bed with me tonight. And I expect he will be restless, as he always is when she is gone.

Its not that he is too sad, just always on edge. The dog and that gal have some kind of special kinship. Its pretty cool to watch sometimes.

Anyway, I have sworn to have my room done by the time she gets back, so I must get on it. Hopefully I can make some headway.

-T

Once an idiot. Now an A-hole

Johnny Damon is a jerk. More than that, he's stupid. He really stuck it to the fans now. Usually I think the players are just doing good business, and I think that they can work wherever they'd like. This, however, is just not right.

After leading the Red Sox to the once unthinkable World Series Championship, JD has left the Sox for the Hated Yankees. And for once, I think this is a real example of a player having no class. We know it isn't money. The Yankees didn't pay much more than the Sox would have paid.

No, clearly this is about attention, and how Johnny can get more of it. He knows that if he stays with the Sox, that it is not particularly big news. He knows that if he goes somewhere else, its not particularly big news. But having signed late last night with the Yanks, he is already the number one sports story of the day and one of the biggest regular stories of the day.

Just another way to add to that Damon ego. The thing is, there were things that we all liked about the guy. And assuming that he is a good guy, then all of those quirky things make him a cool eccentric neat kind of guy. However, when you find out that he is a selfish jerk, then suddenly it casts a different light on all of the fun quirky things he did before.

And he gave up the chance at a real legacy. To be one of the few guys to bring the Sox from almost a century of bad luck and losing the big one. He gave up the chance to be one of those special baseball legends. The kind that everyone remembers, even though they weren't hall of famers.

Heres one:




Fernandomania in LA in the early 80s. One of my earliest baseball memories. Fernando didn't end up being a legendary pitcher, but his legacy as a Dodger is Legendary and unforgettable.


Heres one on the way perhaps.



Eric Gagne. I don't know whats going to happen with him. I know that he is THE most popular Dodger out there. I know that people go to the games just to see him. I know that Angelinos stay till the end of the game just to see him. Contrary to what you might have heard. And if he walks from the Dodgers this year, and went to the Giants we would be devastated.

And that just the Dodgers/Giants. A rivalry that has not been nearly as intense as the Yanks/Sox of late. Devastated I tell you.

Johnny, you suck. Everybody around the league. Royals fans, D-Backs fans, Mariners fans, everyone hates you. Everyone is blown away.

Welcome to being the Poster Boy for Selfish Ballplayers everywhere. At least A-Rod will like you for taking that crown from him. And by the way, better not slump in April because the Yanks fans will turn on you too.

Jackass!

-T

The great Star Wars Finale

A couple of nights ago I won an Ebay auction. I paid for it tonight. I got two of the last 5 Revenge of the Sith figures. This is a big deal. Mainly because it might be hard to get them all.

In Star Wars figure collecting, there is one thing that seems to hold true. Its very hard to find the end of the line figures. This means that when they switch from one line to begin a new one, the last figures of the ending line tend to disappear. Mostly, its just that they have the least amount of time from when the first make them and when they quit production.

The Episode 1 line finishes with an Emperor Hologram, Sio Bibble and a Protocol Droid that I never saw. The Episode 2/Saga line ended last year. I got all but the last three, which I never saw. The Power of the Force line ended in 1999 with some cool figures with talking chips that no one ever saw.

So as Revenge of the Sith comes to a close, I'm looking for the end. I have never managed to collect a whole line before. And I am right on it this time.

It started in February with 4 preview figures. I got those. Then, in April, it started for real. There were 32 figures the first night. I bought about 6. I got all of them pretty quickly. I also got a limited Yoda hologram.

Now there were a few other limited edition exclusives. Target had several "Lava Reflection" figures. I never saw them. I'm not huge on chasing exclusives, so I don't sweat them.

I also don't chase variants very much. Not into errors or changes that they do. One Anakin figure had black eyes. Later, they changed it to have the orange "Sith Eyes." I'm not too worried about that though. However, there are some I did get. The Emperial Guard came in both Blue and Red varieties. Later, they had some varying colors on some of the Troopers. I got those. Those were intentional.

So, there were 56 figures that came out by August. Plus different colors on the Imperial Guard, Clone Pilot, Clone Commander and Clone Trooper. That makes 60. Plus there was the 4 previews. That makes 64. Then they announced that there would be 12 more to end the line. They supposedly came out in October. And I found 7 of them that month. The final 5 though, I have yet to see.

Then they announced the new line of toys. The Saga 2 line. New look, new figures, new card design, starting in 2006. And to kick it off, would be 2 figures that bridge the gap between ROTS and Saga 2. Those were Obi-Wan with Baby Luke and Bail Organa with Baby Leia. I decided those would be the last for me. And I have found them.

This means that the line is over. And, as expected, the 5 last figures have vanished from stores.

Ok, all that said, I got two of the toughies on ebay. I had to pay a couple of bucks more than normal, but is worth it. I'm going to get it. With the 2 baby figures, and my Holographic Yoda that will make 79 in total. And then I am done. For a while.

I don't think I'll be collecting this next group just yet. I'm going to take a year off. Then I'll go back and get em later.

-T

Training Classes

Today at work, I began a three day training period. It was like school...except for not. We had a class at 8, at 9, at 10, at 11 and then Lunch until 1. Then, at 1, we had a 3 hour beginning to electricity class.

I have to say. I am pretty much a stud at school at this point. I have done it enough in my life. That said, this is pretty rough. 3 hours of Neutrons, electrons etc. Ohm's Law, resistance, series circuits...man oh man.

I remember why I became an art student.

-T

The Colts and Nomie

First things.....First. The Colts lost today. No 16-0. No perfect season. No nothing.
I'm pretty mad at Tony Dungy, and if I was a Colts fan I'd be livid. He couldn't commit. One way or another Tony. Pick a side and go. All week it was are you going for the record or are you going to back off and rest your team. He couldn't make up his mind. He kept saying he was just going to try to win. And his team played like that today. They played a half-assed game. They played as if they hadn't decided whether or not it was an important game. I wouldn't care that they lost if that had just come out and said its not important. But they tried to downplay the record AND pretend this game was important. All in all, pretty doggone annoying.


Second. Nomar Garciaparra comes to the Dodgers. This is an interesting turn of events. I like Nomar. I was not particularly impressed with the way he handled his last days with the Red Sox. However, I would like to seem succeed. He has been plagued by injuries for 3 years now. If he can stay healthy, I know he will have a good year. So I am glad he is coming. If he stays healthy, he will be a steal for us at 6 million bucks.
And of course, its now Boston West out in LA. Grady Little the manager, Bill Mueller at 3rd, Nomar at 1st, Derrick Lowe on the Hill and Johnny Damon coming to visit LA too.

Woo Hoo. I heard our Owner was trying to bring the Red Sox out here one player at a time. And really, what so bad about that?

-T

The Christmas Party

Tonight was my company Christmas party. This was a big deal, and a long time coming. One of the first things I was told when I go to work was that I MUST be at the Christmas party. So I made sure to be there to make a good showing.

I'm not a kiss up or anything, but I do very much want to continue to make a good showing. And I guess things are going well. My boss referred to me as her "best pipe bender." So that made me happy.

The party was pretty cool though. We played a silly game where we had to dress our boss up like Santa Claus, using tissue and construction paper and some cotton. My Santa won, so I got a 5 dollar Blockbuster gift card.

We had a white elephant gift exchange. That didn't go so well. I picked something and it was really heavy. Then it got stolen from me, so I picked something else. Then that got stolen too. So I tried to steal someone else's. They said I couldn't because that had been stolen 3 times already. So I stole back my original heavy gift. That was the third time that that gift was stolen so I was confident I'd get it. Then, someone stole it from me anyway. And the guy didn't listen when I tried to say something about the three times rule. As my ex-roomate's ex-girlfriend would say..."What the Crap?" Anyway, I just went up and picked another gift. When it was time to open them, my gift was a potpourri crock pot (potpourri sold separately) and the heavy gift was a full case of those vodka wine cooler things. Nuts!

What are you going to do though. Some free food and goofing off. It was pretty cool. Really my first ever company Christmas party.

-T

Melinda and Melinda and Melinda

I watched a lot of Melinda tonight. One very good and two pretty good.

First was another great episode of Ghost Whisperer. Jennifer Love Hewitt is Melinda, and she can see ghosts. The show is fantastic. Its CBS's replacement for Joan of Arcadia, and I love it. Tonight's episode was right on par.

The other Melindas were Woody Allen's film Melinda and Melinda. This was a movie with a great premise that is a pretty good finished film. Its not as good as I hoped it would be, but still pretty good.

A couple of writers are sitting around arguing over Comedies and Tragedies and which are more significant in the world.

So they are given a brief scenario and asked to turn it into story. One tragic and one comic. We get to watch the two movies happen together. They alternate between one movie to the other and back and forth. It was pretty cool. One thing though, I was far more interested in the Comedic version than the dramatic one. The tragic was way too tragic. The Comedic was also kind of serious. Both being a little more dramatic than they are supposed to be creates a problem for the tragedy. However it leaves the comedy as a much more balanced movie.

The other thing is that Will Farrell is in it. And I HATE him. I, once again, hoped that this would be a Will Farrell performance that I liked. And......it was ok. He wasn't too bad. A little annoying, but not so bad.

Overall, a pretty good night for Melindas though. And a productive night for the Tom and Steph movie watching team.

-T

King Kong Sucks

Steph and I had a little chat about King Kong tonight. I checked the box office report for yesterday. 9.6 million. Thats not bad I guess. In fact, only 20 movies ever have made more money on an opening day that was a Wednesday.

20th place. Oh its sooo funny. Pokemon the movie made more on its opening day than King Kong. What can I say? I'm rooting for it to fail. I'm a jerk. Fine. But Peter Jackson is so overrated. Lord of the Rings was such nonsense. So it gives me great pleasure to watch his super movie struggle.

Its not just PJ either. For about a month now I have heard people talking about this movie. How it was certainly going to pass Revenge of the Sith for this year's title, as well as potentially threaten Titanic for the ultimate prize. Just let me say this. Never ever say Titanic. Yes, someday something will probably pass it. It will be a freak of nature though. One that you won't see coming. Secondly, it apears to be no threat to Revenge of the Sith either. Lets compare. King Kong 9.6 million on opening day. Opening day for Revenge of the Sith was 50 million. In fact, Sith made almost twice as much as Kong in Midnight sales alone.

Additionally, its a Monkey!! You know? A Monkey. I'm the first to say that you can make anything happen in movies and it should be believable, but lets be honest. Its a technical masterpiece? I believe it. Its a touching story about love in the strangest of places? I'll believe it when I see it. And I will see it.

In the end, I really do hope that every movie I see is the best one ever. Honestly though, I take a little sick pleasure in watching it not do well. Lets hope it doesn't do any better over the weekend.

-T

Cold as Crap

Man it was cold today. I mean cold, yo. Seriously though, it was really cold today. I have been loving life after Utah. Knowing that is in the low teens back there almost every day. Ha ha ha. Its so nice here.

But today? No. It was cold. In the low 30s. Oh, poor me right? Its not as cold as other places, right? True, but does that make it warm here? No.

It was windy as heck. The boat ride out to the fort was rough. The water was choppy. It was pretty damned cold all day long.

Just thought I'd take a minute to complain about the weather. Its old school. Complaining about traffic is soooo clearly the new complaining about the weather.

-T

How to get motivated

Sometimes I don't know what my issue is. There is nothing I love more than the feeling I get when I am working on a film. Its one of the few things that I found that I do very well, and also really really love. Yet sometimes, its hard to get started on something.

Its like when you try to start riding your bicycle, and the pedal is really hard to push at first. Then, once you finally get going, you are cruising and loving every minute of it.

I just don't know whats wrong with me. I want nothing more to do this. It seems though that everyday, I'm just too tired to do anything about it. And tired would have never stopped me before.

Got to get my crap together.

Fort Sumter

Today was my first day working at Fort Sumter. Let me just say, it was like Whoa! I mean it was really cool. Just being around there is amazing.

The first thing I noticed is how quiet it is. You are miles away from anything, so naturally it is quiet. There are ships that pass by, and an airplane every now and again. But its very very quiet.

And that is spooky considering everywhere you go, there are reminders of how loud it was there one time. For 34 hours the Fort was bombarded by cannons mounted on islands and beaches all around. There are pictures of the bombing in the Fort Museum. Its just amazing to think how loud it must have been. This, in turn, makes it all the more spooky when its that quiet.

I find myself wondering if any ghosts are watching me. All in all, its pretty doggone cool.

-T