Politics and Me

I don't like to talk about politics for a couple of reasons. Because I have very passionate feelings about some things, and because I tend to view things very differently from most people I know. I'm not going to talk much about it now, but I want to start blogging again and it seems hard to avoid.

It made me very happy to see Barack Obama addressing the crowd and nation last night. For all of the "issues" and all of the last 20 months or so, last night was about something different.

I was very impressed by what I saw. Its hard to say more than that. Things just feel different now. They may not be. He may end up being just like all the rest. But it really felt different. I am very excited for him to get started. This could be really special.

-T

Resolutions and Real Change

It is almost New Year's Eve once again, and once again we hear that word "resolutions" mentioned quite often. What does it mean? It is a tradition of the holidays, part of our standard operating procedure. Generally it is somewhat of a joke. People ask jokingly "what are your New Year's Resolutions?" People respond with a joke of some sort, "I won't make it a week without...." Smoking, Picking my Nose, Cussing, Eating something I shouldn't etc. etc.

I don't remember the first time I heard this. I believe I heard about resolutions right about the same time I heard about Times Square or Fireworks. So as far as I can tell this Tongue and Cheek "tradition" has always been there.

Then there is this question. Would any of us do this if we haven't always heard about it? The answer is...Yes, of course we would. It is in our nature. Just as we do at our birthdays or, for younger people, at the beginnings of new school years, we take the beginning of a new year as an opportunity to right things that we don't feel good about. Sometimes we require the feeling of a "clean slate" to make us feel like change is possible. What the kiddies call a "do over." We often have a tough time making real changes that matter and things like the celebration of the beginning of the new year can really be that chance that someone is looking for. Unfortunately, real change is lost in all the silliness surrounding New Year's Resolutions.

I will use this year to change. I am not making any resolution to speak of. I am becoming a different person. I have, for 18 months now, been on a tremendous emotional journey and I am not the man I once was. 18 months ago, I was scarcely a man at all. I will be different in 2008 because I have not the ability to go back to what I once was anyway. But I will use the turn to the New Year as a way to motivate myself to make real practical use of my new self.

In 2008 I will love myself. I will treat myself as if it is my sole God-appointed task to take care of me and help me to succeed. I will not listen to discouragement disguised as advice, given to me by people whom I do not respect. I will not let them hurt me simply because they are trying to protect themselves. I will respect my education and my talents and I will use them in the pursuit of art and of a satisfying life. I will not listen to those who try to tell me that it is not right. I will love my wife, the only person who has ever said they loved me who has truly, honestly, selflessly and devotedly loved me. I will love her every moment of every day and I will love her selflessly, how she wants and needs to be loved, not how I want to. I will listen to truth. I will listen to what I know is right. I will not listen to years and years of programmed nonsense disguised as values. Work ethic and love of family are coded messages meaning don't risk, don't try and don't get hurt. In 2008 I will be in action. I will go forward not back. I will seek and not hide. I will find new friends that think the way I do, and who have goals and dreams, not hobbies and fantasies. I will pray and bring my inner self to peace for the first time in 32 years.

But most of all, I will respect myself.

-Tom

Something about Christmas

Something has happened in recent years that is somewhat troubling. I have found that it can be incredibly easy to let most of the Christmas season go by unnoticed. I remember when Christmas didn't start in the Malls and Stores until December, but for me it started before Thanksgiving. Now, in the Stores, Christmas starts in early December, and I can't seem to get it going until a week before the day.

When I was in College, I just had to get through exams and then it was Christmas in all of its Yule Tide glory. Since those days, it has been less and less that way. I had a Christmas in Los Angeles where I still had time to do stuff. Steph and I went to her office Christmas party and I had time to build a sort of ramshackle tree. 75 degrees on Christmas Day in Los Angeles. (May not seem like Christmas to some, but for me it was just a shade above what I am used to.)

The next two were spent while I was working a new job and wrapped around some traveling, which made it difficult. These also were the last two times that I will spend Christmas Day without Stephanie.

Last year, we were both working so much that it was hard to get any time to think about it at all. This year we are living in a hotel on the road with my company and then we will be taking a long road trip during the Holiday season.

As long as I am with my Beautiful Wife, I will truly be happy. But really, I want a house of my own, a place to call home so that I can start celebrating the whole season and not just the day in question. Thats what I am going to give myself for Christmas next year.

There is one last thing. My Amazing Wife, knowing that this is the case, has done a spectacular job at organizing our Christmas Television Classics schedule. She has really made this a great Christmas in a year where it could easily be the most forgotten of all. Thank You Steph.

-Tom

Searching for Tom

Once again, I find myself searching for my former self. More accurately I'm looking for the place where my true personality intersects with everything I have learned about myself recently. The truth is, I feel that I have lost a lot of ME recently. What's worse is, if asked, I don't know that I could fully describe what ME is.

I would describe my former life as everything up to the point at which I moved to California. Since that time I have learned a lot about myself. I have learned about my family, my childhood, my hopes, my fears, and many of my issues. I have looked back on my former self with these new understandings and it really blew the lid off of some things for me. Most specifically, I found that a lot of my attitudes and activities were really just obsessive distractions compensating for some a lot of fear and insecurity.

As I realized more and more that this was the case, I worked to drop more and more of these pretenses from my life. The negative result has been that I lost most of my TRUE personality and am now a very generic and bland version of my former self.

Frankly, I am very boring and depressing and I want my SELF back. The good things about me, the fun things, the passionate things, are the things I want back. I used to have energy, thats what I want back. I'm coming to get it.

These Mother------s don't know how to act....
Yeah!
-Tom

Not Tonight...

Nope....not tonight.

Peace on Earth...
-T

Wii Baby

"I got it, I got it, I got a Wii! Woo!" said Stephanie. Early one morning last January I heard these words left on my voicemail by my beautiful soon-to-be bride. It has been fantastic ever since. The Wii has been every bit as revolutionary as advertised.

The coolest experience so far was at the wedding. WE had a lot of Wii fun that week. I bought Tiger Woods '07 and The Boys and I had a lot of fun.

My favorite part of Wii is the Virtual Console. This is where I can download classic games from my childhood. Ah, the wonder of Super Mario Brothers 2. I LOVED this game. We got it for 42 dollars at the Lionel Play World in Mesa Arizona. I haven't played it in well over 15 years. When I started it up, I can't believe how I remembered just how to do it. Its freaky.

Best Video Game system in History.
-T

Entertaining myself at home.

Stephanie and I have recently begun watching more movies and television shows at home. After last week's Black Friday Bonanza, Stephanie and I have a ton of new stuff to keep us occupied. In an effort to keep our entertainment spending down, we are engaging in a series of both mini and full-sized marathons. Tonight we are watching numerous episodes of The Office. We watched Star Wars a couple nights ago and are planning to watch more very soon. We are also planning to do a repeat of our 2002 Bond Marathon. One of our very first.

Some marathon's I'd like to do soon:
Six Feet Under
Dark Angel
Post Apocalyptic Movies
Complete James Bond

Director Marathons:
Martin Scorsese
Alfred Hitchcock
Paul Thomas Anderson
Francis Ford Coppala

Actor Marathons:
Paul Newman
George Clooney
Gweneth Paltrow

I don't know how to shop for food!

When I went away to college in 1997 I discovered the magic of the meal plan. 16 meals a week plus 150 bucks worth of free money to spend at school restaurants...a.k.a. Bonus Bucks. I thought I had landed in food heaven. There was a Pizza Hut and then they added a Taco Bell and a Chik-Fil-A. There was a burger place and a sub place.It was awesome. In addition to all of that fattening junk food bliss, there was also real food. Actual cooked meats, vegetables with side dishes and appropriately portioned desserts. There was healthy food to be found, and made easy. For me, eating healthy was as simple as getting in the right line. That was a big help. I won't pretend that I didn't eat a ton of Taco Bell food and personal Pizzas. I certainly did, but I also ate some good regular meals.

Then reality set in. I graduated. I moved to Los Angeles where I had little to no money at all. When Ralph's had frozen dinners on sale for a dollar a piece. I bought about 30 of them. I also started working at The Greatest Fast Food Place on Earth and a delicious part of my compensation package was one free Double Double and Fries every day. Every day for about 7 months. From here on my diet has been a constant struggle.

But heres the point to the whole thing. It's not like I got spoiled in college on having my meals just magically appear, and then forgot what I used to know. I NEVER knew how to do this. I lived with my parents before this and the food just magically appeared there too. Never out of Hot Pockets or the ever delicious and easy to eat right out of the carton Lloyds Barbeque Mmmm. Healthy.

I have no idea what I am doing. I have no idea how to eat right. I have no idea how to shop effectively. No one ever taught me. No one ever showed me. Whats worse, when worse came to worse and I had to teach myself......I took the easy way and refused to learn. By eating out or eating cheapies from the grocery store. Ramen noodles and 3 for a dollar frozen burritos for example. Taking the easy way out is an important issue for another blog. Being able to focus and pay attention when my wife is showing me how to shop healthy and effectively is another.

Once again I find myself in a place where I want to reclaim some power for myself. Now is the time.

-T

A Sad Day

Early this morning Washington Redskins Definsive Back Sean Taylor died from a shooting on Sunday Night. I heard about the shooting yesterday and saw he was in a coma. He was clearly listed in critical condition, and certainly a coma is pretty darned serious. Yet when I heard the news this morning that he had died, I was shocked.

He was 24 years old and unbelievable talent. He was also "troubled" to be diplomatic. Which is to say he'd been in trouble with the law and had been of questionable character. That means people called him a thug. Myself included. When he was drafted by the Redskins I did something that I hate. I turned a blind eye to what I thought about him in exchange for his incredible skills on my team. The truth is, the NFL is a second-rate league to me and I wouldn't have done that if he was a Gamecock or a Dodgers. That doesn't make it any better that I did that.

A DUI and Felony Armed Assault Charges were part of his resume. I and everyone I know thought he was a thug.

Friends say that recently he had really turned his life around following the birth of his daughter. But most of us didn't know or care to find out. Easier to just say "Nice pick, Thug."

And now he is dead. Shot by an intruder in his home with his girlfriend and their daughter in the house. And I hope that I am not the only one who will turn away from calling him a low-life. Maybe its random, maybe its something from his past life that came back to haunt him. I don't know. He was just barely a man. He was incredibly gifted. Just like that...gone. As are many years to come of football excellence. Years spent with his daughter and family. Years to become as good a man as he could.

I don't usually get too involved with these sorts of newsworthy tragedies, but this is painful and sad.

Good Luck and Godspeed Sean.
...Hurricanes!

-Tom

A well needed long weekend.

I have to be honest. I needed a break. From what? I don't know. But the First week that we were here was a tough adjustment to make. Doing some real work. Back to the middle of a job instead of near the end like I was in New Jersey. Pushed right into the middle of it, I had to get my bearings. It took me a while. So a 5 day weekend, starting with Thanksgiving Day was just what the doctor ordered.

Thanksgiving at Medieval Times, Friday at the Mall, Saturday a quick trip up and back to New Jersey, Sunday Pancakes at IHOP and a lot of lying around. Monday (base closed) more lying around and a lot of relaxing.

Back to work tomorrow. A lot to do in a short time. But its nice to have a good project to work on. So, unbelievably, I'm kind of excited to get back to it tomorrow. Weird.

-T

Housebreaking....that Darned D

So I haven't done very well with getting Johnny Drama housebroken. Its been tricky as we have been moving a lot. But really its just an excuse. I have been lazy for a couple of reasons. First because his little poops and pees are so small and tiny that they don't seem to cause much problem. Even the pee is easy to clean since its like a thimble full. The second reason is just that I am lazy.

When we got Sonny, I didn't have a dog yet so I knew that I was going to have to do this. And I told Stephanie that I would do whatever it would take. I did a pretty good job I'd say. Well...We did have to pay for the carpet to be replaced at our apartment in Sherman Oaks, so I don't know how good it was. Somewhere after that, he really became a very good dog. He has had "accidents" on only the most rare of occasions. The thing is though, I have become pretty darned used to having a trained dog. So when I got a new dog, I really wasn't ready for the potty training.

So I haven't done a great job. I have managed to get him to pee and poop in acceptable places indoors. Which means on the puppy pad or on the bathroom floor. Actually, he gets in the tub and pees. Which I thought was great and encouraged a lot. I figured maybe I'll never have to walk him again. But its not good for him or me.

So Steph got us a new book. The Loved Dog by Tamar Gellar. And I am rededicated to training my puppy as well as teaching my slightly older, but still young dog some new tricks. So we will be dealing with some whining and some crying over the next week or so, but I think it will be worth it.

I love Dogs.
-T

Arrrrrrrrrrggghhhhhhhhhhhh

I can't take it anymore. Errrr. 23-21 Clemson beats Carolina. I have been dealing with this for what seems like forever. We win one. We lose two. We win one. We lose one. We win one. We lose two. I don't know. We should have won this game tonight. Seriously! The problem I have is that year after year after year, we are better than them. I mean it. We are always better than them and we always manage to lose.

Now, on a personal note. I am handling this loss a lot better than I thought. I am moving on finally and I have better things in my life. Therefore it doesn't hurt. I am doing alright.

My name is Tom and I'm a sportsoholic. Its been 2 months since I last threw something at my television.

-Tom

Black Friday!

Sometime back I heard the term Black Friday. It was funny term that retailers used amongst themselves as the day that all the crazy shoppers come screaming to the stores to get in their Christmas shopping. Little by little, the term has gotten out to everyone else and has become pretty common. The weird thing is that its apparently so common, that the stores are calling it that in their advertisements. Now this seems a bit much to me.

First off Stores...lets not pretend that you hate this day. If anything its Green Friday or This will keep us going for all of next year Friday. I guess its working though. The shoppers seem to act like the hate it too. But they all do it. A special day when shoppers and retailers all grumble together.
...Interesting.

The way I see it is like this. And to paraphrase the great General Bethlehem would say...You want Black Friday? I'll....give you.... Black Friday!

So Stephanie and I ventured out on this day for no other reason than to chuckle at the hilarity of it all. We go out with no shopping agenda at all and therefore have no stress.

A funny thing happened today however. We got to Best Buy and started finding some really good deals. Oh...Don't worry. It wasn't about Christmas shopping. It was about picking up some long desired DVD sets for both of us.

Specifically

Six Feet Under Complete Series for 114 bucks
Dark Angel Complete Series for 40 bucks
The Ultimate James Bond Collection all 21 movies for 90 bucks

Holy Crap! Awesome.
We did pick up a couple of gifts at that point, what the heck right? As long as we stayed true and kept this day all about us. December is for Christmas diggity doggonit. Black Friday is for Pirates...arrrrrgh. And we came home with the Booty.

Peace
-T

Thanksgiving Day

Thanksgiving Day 2007. Stephanie and I looking to make it a memorable day and I think we found it. We went to Medieval Times for dinner. It was awesome. I don't know if its quite what the Pilgrims had in mind, but a little bit of Jousting for Thanksgiving never hurt anyone.

It was our first Married Thanksgiving, and it was great to spend it alone. With just each others and of course our pups.

I am thankful for a lot this year, but there is really only one thing on my mind. My beautiful wife Stephanie I am thankful that we were married. I am thankful that we had such a beautiful wedding. I am thankful that we have a great future planned. I am thankful for all the days we get to spend together. I am thankful for the awesome adventures that we have coming. It is, without a doubt, my best Thanksgiving so far.

Ok, I'm thankful for Star Wars for the 30th year in a row.

-Tom

Starting to Peter out

I have to be honest. I don't want to write this blog. But I said I was going to do it every single night in November. So hear I am. Really two nights in a row with nothing or little to write about.

I spent 3 hours today in a 3 ft crawl space in and attic above a guard shack at the entrance of a National Guard installation in Northern Maryland. At one point, I took a little break and laid back on the plank of wood that was keeping me from falling through the ceiling. I looked up and thought "how did this happen?" Weird. But, its cool. Years from now Steph and I and our kids might ride by there and I can say hey, Daddy mounted all the security in that weird little building there. Yay!

What else?

I really want to make a short Star Wars fan film. I don't know why. It just seems awesome for some reason. What would it be about? I'm not sure. Hmmm. I really just want to see myself with a lightsaber. In theory I can get it done with my computer if the little hamster that runs on a wheel inside it can hold out. Time for a new laptop.

Oh crap. Its 3 minutes til midnight. Better post this thing.
Happy Turkey Day everyone.

Peace
-T

Blog about Dogs

I have been trying to think about what to write tonight. I thought of a few things. The premiere of Frank TV, and how it means I won't have to see those commercials anymore. My job and how its still going fine. How it makes me mad that that some people still think that Southerners use Y'all to refer to just one person. None of these things seemed very good.

And there is a million different Peter Griffin "What Really Grinds My Gears" kind of blogs I could write.....But I hate blogs like that.

So I decided to write about my dogs. A little girly perhaps, but so what? My little dudes are laying on the couch next to me right now. They are being very restful, which is nice. A little while ago they were fighting over Bobos. Sonny has a big stuffed Petsmart Bobo toy and Johnny Drama has a little Drama sized one. They eventually decided they weren't interested....for now.

So they will rest here for awhile. Saving their precious energy until bedtime when they will wait for the lights to go out before beginning their battle for under-the-covers positioning.

They're good ole' dogs.

-T

Think Win Win

First let me say right out in front that this comes from Steven Covey's The Seven Habits of Highly Effective People. Which is an incredible book, that can really make a difference in people's lives.

The 4th Habit is what Covey calls Think Win Win. While all the habits are incredible, this is one I think about quite a bit. He says there are four possible outcomes to any conflict. Win Win. Win Lose. Lose Win and Lose Lose. Read this book. Seriously, its incredible. I won't try to explain it anymore. The point is, however, that Win Win is the best possible outcome for all involved.

Conflicts big and small happen all the time. Most people, it seems, are always fighting to secure a win for themselves with only that in mind. But with that attitude, it ensures that someone loses. These same people seem to spend most of their time complaining about both their recent losses as well as their narrow victories over people who tried to screw them.

An easy example I can think of is Driving. It seems many people look at driving as series of little conflicts. And the if you can win as many as possible you will somehow get to work sooner. When they see someone getting in front of them, the scream at them and then speed up to try to prevent this. What happens here is that one of the two people in this scenario will lose. Then that person will try even harder to win the next conflict. This eventually results in the roughly 45,000 automobile related fatalities every year.

People scoff at the "we can make the world a better place" theory. Mostly they think no one will try it, so they don't try. Also, people think it depends on making big sacrifices to let someone else win. But here, you can look at life from an everyone wins philosophy. Work to make that happen and guess what.....Everybody wins.

No one will buy this. I know they won't. If I tried to tell someone, they would basically ignore me because they would think I am telling them to let someone else win. Which means they lose. I don't understand why people see everything in life as somebody wins and somebody loses. Its really sad. This is one of the deepest and most pervasive problems in our society today. We can all succeed and we can all be successful. But no one will risk it.

The sneaky little secret is that you are SUPPOSED to want to win. Helping the other fella win along with you, just makes you a great person. Plus it helps you out down the road too.

What do I know though....Read the book.

-T

Best Show on Television?

Since 1999, this was an easy question to answer. The Sopranos. But now that we live in a Post Cut-to-Black world, what show will come in to fill the void? I have sampled quite a few in the past year looking for the one.

What I discovered is that TV looks a lot like the Sopranos. In 1999, shows were still very episodic. ER was the number one show on TV, and while it certainly had a lot of ongoing plot lines, it still worked very well from week to week. You could miss a week or two or four and still enjoy an episode.

In 2007, the shows people are talking about aren't episodic at all. Heroes, Prison Break, Lost, are all huge. Here are shows that if you miss an episode, you might as well quit for the year and start over on DVD. The Sopranos effect is very clear.

Add to that the advent of the DVR, which allowed people an even better chance to not miss their shows.

The problem is these shows just aren't as good as the Sopranos. Well, I guess thats not fair. But they just don't quite do it for me.

I don't know. I have pared down my TV watching to basically no shows. With the Writers Strike having already put and end to the Office for the foreseeable future, it leaves only one show.

How I Met Your Mother.

This show is the best show on Television. Seriously. I'll say this. Its the funniest comedy I have ever seen. Not saying the Best show that could be called a Comedy, but it is the FUNNIEST.
The best part is the continuity. Little details in one episode that come back in big ways in later episodes. It makes for great re-watching of old episodes on DVD.

So as I see it, and for as long as we still have new episodes still being aired. A little show Steph and I just call HIMYM will be the official Tom's favorite show.

-T

First Day off in Baltimore

So theres no football today. Well, there's football today. The Gamecocks, for the first time this year, are off. So with no painful loss to wait for all day, what else to do?

Turns out. Not much. Steph and I spent the day discussing our lives and future. It wasn't a lot of fun really but it was pretty helpful.

I want to go to school to get my PhD. Its something I have wanted for a long time but wasn't sure if I should or not. I don't want to give up on my film making dreams, but I also really think I'd love to teach film studies to college kids.

We talked a lot about my job and our living arrangements. Which aren't great. Living in a hotel kind of sucks. The last hotel was pretty nice. More like little apartments. This hotel is like a regular hotel. It does have a separate bedroom which is sort of nice. It will be good because I can go to bed early if I need to.

We talked about Babies. How they are cute and cuddly and a very manly thing to want. I really can't wait.

Then we went to the Super Walmart. This should have been great. We haven't had the greatness that is Super Walmart in a couple of years. Apparently the people here haven't had one in a while either because everyone in North East Maryland was there. Also, there is that new "Christmas starts on November 1st" policy to consider. So there were about 10,000 Last Minute Shoppers to deal with. Not much fun.

So now to settle down with a little Friends Mini-Marathon before bed. A long day, but tomorrow will be a great one.

-Tom

Friday Night in B-More

So a week, or most of a week, has gone by and the weekend is finally here. So what to do? Its Friday Night.....Right?

So Steph and I decided to do up Baltimore Steph and Tom style.

Dominoes Pizza and DVDs.

So, you might call us wimps or old or no fun or something like that.

But we've been to 44 states in the last 5 years. What have you done?

-T

Also. I love my wife. And pizza and Friends with her is better than anything out on the town.